Hi-ho, Hi-ho, it's off to work I go.

I'm sure that most of you who read this blog (if anyone does because I'm such a slacker about posting) know that I have gone back to work. Boo. It has become financially necessary for me to do so. Seems so silly after Mark posted at about me being a stay-at-home wife and mother not too long ago. But all of those things he said are true. And hopefully this will be short term comparatively.

However, things can change in a matter of weeks or months. And here we are. Truth is, I was so so so sad to return to work. I truly enjoyed the eight months that I had at home to spend with Mark and my sweet baby girl. I will cherish those moments forever. 

I am one of those people who does not really enjoy going out into the work place. I am a genuine home-body. I'd rather be home than most anywhere else. Housework and mommy-work may not be the most glamorous, and it is certainly difficult. But I so much more enjoy the work of a homemaker to that of anything else I could be doing in the work place. That being said, I think those women who love being mothers and wives and love to work are amazing. They have strength I wish I had at times like these. 

In all reality, I am grateful for the training I received to be a registered nurse. I have learned valuable skills that I will use for the rest of my life, whether at home or at work. I am grateful that nursing is a flexible career. That I can work as much or as little as I want. That I can choose the days/nights I am available. That I can still be a wife and mother primarily. And this job that I was blessed to find so quickly after beginning my search, is a good fit for me. Working at Primary Children's Hospital was a wonderful learning experience. There are truly angels that walk those halls and care for those children; miracles happen there all the time. However, it was very high stress and I didn't handle that as well as I had hoped I could. This new job is home health. I'm a private duty nurse which means I go to the patient's home and watch over the patient there for x number of hours. I like that I am only responsible for one patient at a time and that I can really get to know the patient. It is a much better fit for my personality. 

But it's nights. I didn't think it would be a big deal to go back to nights because I had done that at the hospital. Turns out it is hard. Working nights with a baby at home makes me plain old tired. It takes me longer to recover than before. I haven't been sleeping well before or after my shifts to help me recover. I miss my husband and my baby when I'm at work. My biggest worry is that I will miss one of Lily's milestones. (Which I know is ridiculous. I only miss maybe 12 hours of being with her when she's awake while I try to sleep.) 

That being said there are some good things coming from this situation (besides the boost in finances). Mark gets to spend more time with Lily. It is good for both of them. She needs her Daddy and he needs her. It is cute to see the relationship they are developing. She is turning into a Daddy's girl and it melts my heart. Lily also gets to spend time with Grandma and Grandpa on Fridays while Mark is at work and I take a nap after a shift (I work 11pm to 8am Thurs and Sat nights). The grandparents love it, and Lily loves it. I am so grateful my Mom is able to watch Lily on Fridays. It is a wonderful blessing. And this situation forces me to be stronger. 

A couple of my friends made not a list of New Years resolutions, but just picked a word to be their theme for 2014. I loved the idea and I wanted to do the same. Goals are great, but I wanted an extra emphasis behind all my goals, hopes, and dreams for 2014. The word I chose for this year is: STRONG. I hope to be strong in all aspects of my life this year. Especially in the situations that are hard.